March 2010: The Tests

I never had chicken pox that I remember. Chicken pox and pregnancy are bad. So, I had to get a blood test to see if I had the titers. If I didn’t, they would have to inject me with it and I'd have to delay by baby making plans for a few weeks. When I got there, my doctor (love her) had asked the nurses to also take some blood to see if I’m ovulating. I had no idea they could do that. That was beyond my education at that point. I would later learn everything about blood tests when I picked up “Infertility for Dummies”. Seriously. I didn’t even know what hormone she tested. All I knew what that it was in the range that told me I was ovulating.

(I later found out it was progesterone – it’s only produced after you ovulate, so really any level is good.)

February 2010: The Beginning

We didn’t have to default to our start in January back-up plan, because I got a job in January. I started work in February in more ways than one. I started a 8am-6pm job, but I also began my baby-making job.

I figured I was fine with ovulation since I had been off the pill for well over a year and my periods were regular, but I wanted to get my insides checked out. Enter the torturous “HSG” (hysteralpingogram). Yeah, you’d abbreviate, too. My friend had this done – on Valium – and she was in tears. But, this friend does have a flair for the dramatic and has a VERY low pain threshold. Me? High pain threshold, have multiple tattoos – I’m pretty tough.

The procedure was the most painful thing ever. First they insert a catheter that isn’t supposed to hurt – it’s just a tube. Then why did it feel like they had to clip it onto my cervix or something? Afterwards, a dye is injected into your uterus. It’s supposed to feel like “pressure”. Pressure my ass! This was PAIN! I later heard from a doctor that it is the most painful procedure they do without anesthesia.

Anyway the most important news was that I got the go ahead to start trying – my uterus and tubes were clear – YAY!

And so it began. I’m not going to lie – sex with the purpose of creating a child was fun! (At first.) It brings “love-making” to whole new level. I’ll stop there since I don’t know who will eventually read this.

November 2009: The Meltdown, Part 2

I went to visit my friend in the hospital – the women’s hospital. The same place where I wanted to be giving birth in 9 months, but knew I wasn’t. I was already feeling shaky from that and the fact that I had a fight with my mom (my parents were in town for Thanksgiving). As I was leaving the hospital, I saw I had a voicemail from a friend who said she had news. I knew what it was. She was calling to say she was pregnant-with her second. She was going to have two of something I had none of. I couldn’t handle it. Right there, in the middle of the street, I started bawling. My poor parents (especially my dad), had no idea what to do with me. My mom did the best thing she could and bought me shoes – really high heels that I reasoned I couldn’t wear if I was pregnant. Then we went out for Mexican and I drank too much – again, something I couldn’t do if I was pregnant.

November 2009: The Doctor

My friend had to have uterine fibroids removed and I went with her to her doctor consultation. This doctor just happened to be the lead infertility doctor. I'll call him Dr. Grandpa because he was caring but stern like a relative. I sat with her while she chatted with him, and the conversation moved to fertility, and then the conversation moved to me. Here’s the gist of it:

Dr Grandpa: “And you, are you married?”

Me: “Yes.”

Dr Grandpa: “Do you have children?”

Me: “No.”

Dr Grandpa: “Do you want children?”

Me: “Yes.”

Dr Grandpa: “Well, you better get going.”

Me: [Argument about my employment situation]

Dr Grandpa: “Please start – I don’t want to see you in here.”

Prophetic.

November 2009: The Meltdown, Part 1

Choo, choo! The biological freight train was still slamming into me as if it was going in reverse and accelerating over and over again. The night of our five-year dating anniversary, a night which should have been a nice dinner out (our only one while I was out of a job) turned into a disaster. I had a complete crying meltdown of how this was the month we were supposed to start trying and we can’t and my eggs are dying by the minute, and I WANT A BABY!!!!!!!!!! Poor TK tried to cheer me up, but I responded to everything with “My eggs are dying”.

In the end, we decided that if I didn’t have a job by the end of January, we would start trying.

September 2009: The Obstacle

With all this planning, I lost my job. I did not want to worry about being pregnant looking for a job, so we put our plans on hold. I loved unemployment for the most part, in fact, in the weeks leading up to my eventual dismissal, I created excel spreadsheets (you’re seeing a trend, aren’t you?) that mapped out how I would spend my day. Lots of exercise – running, yoga, Baci time, cooking, and of course, looking for a new job. In fact, the only reason I wanted a job was that I could proceed with my baby making plans. So, I was pretty upset at having to delay trying to conceive.

July 2009: The Plan

TK’s best friend got engaged and was planning an Ecuadorian wedding for either May or September 2010. TK was the Best Man, but even if he wasn’t, this is a wedding we HAD to go to. Back then, friends were actually more important than trying to conceive – imagine that! I created an excel spreadsheet (surprise, surprise) that calculated what my due date would be based on if we got pregnant in a particular month, and blocked out the months that would leave me in my third trimester for the wedding, when travel would be a no-no.

The wedding ended up being planned for May. So, we were going to start trying in November. Even if we got pregnant on the first try, I would still be only in my second trimester by May. There. It’s settled!